点解?

整晚在那儿自言自语
像是彩排怎样跟她说话
(原来我这么失败=-=还要彩排的哦)
说了一大堆都没有send出去……
以前啊总说什么以后说话前都要draft先
最后还不是draft都没draft就直接type直接send咯
(之前自言自语的事都不记得了)

好想问
那时混熟了 
在一起的时候她究竟是不是真正有feel到happy勒?
话是这么说啦
不过我真的是看不出当时那个笑容哪里不正常喔
连我过分的时候她都没怎样抗拒啊 
*Bluuur*

都不知道自己emo些什么
就整个mood不爽不爽的
有一直跟自己说一切正常啊
但是
我真是过不了自己那关咯
自己是不是真的那么烂哦
点解我始终弄不到你笑得?
不是不是……是好难才弄到你笑
而人家好易就弄你哈哈大笑
点算好啊?

女人总说男人不守承诺
但是女人就一定记得么?
承诺只有在乎的那一方记得吧?
老实说啦
你讲过的话你记得几多呢?

=/

Public Speaking Competition? The Pro and The Professionals.

Blogging at such a time.

I couldn't sleep normally these days. 

Easily feeling tired and fired up after a few hours nap.

My ex Lecturer sent and email to me, asking me to join a Public Speaking Competition.

He says we, the chosen ones, are rather good in speaking.

I told my mum, she joked, or maybe seriously asked me to accept the offer. 

She thinks I am really that good in expressing myself. 

I thought for awhile during the ride home.

I lost all my confidence in speaking... 

I remember during secondary times I was one of the best students that can communicate with almost EVERYONE I meet. 

But then today, me having the problem communicating with the girls I like.

A serious lack of communication skills in communicating hearts. 

Thinking back how I tried to communicate with all 3 girls I once liked. 

I said a thousand words, I kept silence to create a better atmosphere... 

ALL turned out to be a joke. A joke that made no one laugh. 

I kills conversation easily

I do not know how to make her talk to me

I do not possess the ability to think of funny topics. 

I do not have lines that touches the heart. 

=/ 

Comparing is the weirdest thing existing...

People says by comparing you can improve... 

Porkshits. 

I do not see any leap in me, or instead, motionless. 

I only see how bad I am when I am comparing. 

A good speaker...? 

Those that could really communicate with the girls... 

A 1 2 3 word and all burst out laughing like mad... 

Now then this is what I call Professional speakers...

I am envious or rather jealous of this... 

Being a pro isn't that pro after all. 

Just a blind update. :) Nights.  

苦涩的冰淇凌

一个游戏的瞬间让我开心了整个晚上……

 O: 

虽然知道只是游戏 

><

心里还是甜滋滋的 

^~^

是因为极度的渴望么? 

@@

倒不如说我要的其实很简单…… 

^^

其实要开心真的很容易…… 

:'D

换言之…… 要emo也很容易…… 

==

期待有天……你我共舞 

<3 

真实地

……

无题

脑海里的片段反反复复

一直是别人对我的质疑

真心　专一　痴情　长久

简简单单的承诺都被玷污了

幻想了四年后的我　毕业了

和我合毕业照的　会是你吗?　还是另一个她?

还是你……　和另一个他?

偶尔太乐观了

或许四年间的某刹那

我　也只能是祝福

你　却已经是幸福

也真没想过失去你后的生活

依旧?　还是邋遢?　甚至埋没……

未备份就出击　是我专一的专利

思绪缠绕回响　是我痴情的标志

不屑三思而行　是我真心的保证

不计轰轰烈烈　是我长久的代言

平平凡凡牵你手　陪我度过一世的爱

你……　是你吗?

致大冰山的一封心语录

突然有种很想找你的感觉

想对你说我真的爱你

简简单单

想你…… 真的

爱你…… 真的

我试过放弃你 

我找别的女生暧昧

到头来心里有那么一种罪恶感

可是

和你暧昧

心中有种甜蜜

……

我认真的

我选择你的时候

我认真的

…… 

I didn't really love you, I just wanted you to be the one I love.

Love is romance.

I want to Love, and being loved.

Love
Something I wanted to learn.
Something I couldn't know much.
Something I never get to know thou it is simple.

Starting a kid
I learn from Dramas, Stories, Quotes, Articles, and even real life experiences. 
I learnt to be a restless warrior  
I learnt to be the one prepared at all times. 
I am but I'm not so. 
I am prepared but I'm not needed. 

I learnt from Dramas that girls love romance
But reality is not what I can manipulate. 
Or maybe preparations were just insufficient? 

I learnt from experience
Girls need care 
But who am I to care? 
Who needs my care? 

I learnt to be the perfect boyfriend in girls mouth.
I learnt to give up anything for her.
I learnt to avoid games in my life, every second of mine is for her.
I learnt to put her above everything.
I learnt to protect her from flirty guys.
I learnt to punch to lay judgement on those who hurt her.
I learnt to immune punches just to shield her.
I learnt to be the one giving her supports.
I learnt to be the one staying up to hear her silence sleeps.
I learnt to keep my distance with other girls if I had her.

If only I had her. I learnt many things to love the girl I wanted to.
Maybe I was wrong all the time. 

I didn't really love you, I just wanted you to be the one I love. 

An Old New.

I have blogs but I never had one. 

My life is so not interesting to blog about 

or maybe I'm just not so good in describing the best out of the normal. 

Read my previous blogs when I was trying to clear my blogs. 

That was a good recall of how I came across this year. 

Just this year of the Wabbit (Which I used to call it in my blog) I had the biggest ups and downs. 

Like not much know, I'm not someone who really do shares my things when I speak everything. 

No secrets in me but they are still bits and parts which no one could get access to them. 

I do not hide, I cover. 

I want a matter. Yes I do. Who doesn't? 

I want to be a matter to you. Maybe this is the real reason behind all the emoness I had all along. 

I don't really know myself. 

I want to love, not scared nor shy to announce. 

I want to love, and being loved in return. 

I tried to learn how to love. 

I seen couples complaining and some even broke up. 

I learnt what I see and hear. 

I tried my best to learn to be the perfect boyfriend in every girls' mouth. 

I really put much effort of thinking in that. Just thinking and planning since I do not have the chance to do. 

Leaving the result of my lesson for my next post. I'll definately be updating this. 

I want the future me to see how childish I once were.